Priceless...

I know...I know. Those goddamn Mastercard commercials are about as fresh as Britney Spears' baby maker on Paris Hilton's leather seats. However, this is just too good for me to pass up. I'm sure that some of you know that Justin got married a couple weeks ago and I was co-best man, which means that they let me give a speech. BIG MISTAKE! Without further ado, here is my Mastercard version of the events.

Rental Tux for your best friends wedding...$110

Penis Tiara and "Rock Out with Your Cock Out" t-shirt for his bachelor party...$30

Enough Wild Turkey 101 to make J-Cap comment at the ceremony that "you smell like a distillery"...$10

Calling your best friend a "homo" into a microphone at his reception in front of 140 bewildered, slack-jawed guests...Priceless

Seriously, this is the only occasion that I have ever seen that warranted a helmet cam. If you only could have seen this from my perspective. It truly was priceless! Congrats O, I believe that might have been the denouement of the day.